Paul Hansford, news.com.au

Few people know the pitfalls of using foreign phrases more than I do.

I took a trip to a World War II battle site with some Danish people recently and was desperate to join the conversation in the native language.

I thought out my phrase and said it to the tour group. They burst out laughing.

It seems my mispronunciation of one word changed a very innocent: “So many people died in their foxholes?” into something very different.

To English-speaking ears they sound very similar, but for the Dane’s there’s a big difference.

Despite my mistake, ‘Foxholegate’ reinforced for me the importance of trying to speak a native language in a foreign land. Not only is it respectful, but it can break down barriers between people.

The key to speaking foreign phrases is to not worry about getting it wrong. Even the worst pronounced or jumbled sentence can set you on a path of understanding and friendship. I’ve seen many a wary or unfriendly local’s face slowly turn into a helpful smile when a traveller tries to speak their language.

In fact, getting it wrong can be better.

One way to strike up a conversation with a foreign phrase is to learn something completely random.

I memorised: “My monkey always gets a headache after drinking red wine” in German (“Mein affe immer kopfschmerzen nach dem trinken von rotwein”) and repeated it to people I met during a trip through Bavaria. The locals would be astounded, asking me why I would learn such a phrase, who taught me. We would usually end up chatting well into the night. Instant friend maker, that alcoholic monkey of mine…

However, I’ve found the biggest problem is that many of the foreign phrases you see in guidebooks and online don’t relate to today’s world of travel.

Realistically, how many times on your travels are you going to ask where the bakery is? Or what time the next overnight passenger ferry leaves? And who exactly is going to use: “I’m allergic to Nutella” anyway?

While knowing how to greet people, ask directions or say: “I don’t understand” is all well and good, but there’s also a need for more relevant phrases to use when travelling.

I’ve looked back at my foreign jaunts to come up with some practical phrases you can translate and learn for your next trip to foreign climes.

AT THE HOSTEL
- Excuse me, there already seems to be someone sleeping in my bed

- Any chance of some hot water in the showers?

- Are you actually pumping the music from the bar into my room through a hidden speaker?

- Whoever stole my milk is getting a slap round the face with a travel sandal

AROUND TOWN
- No I will not join you in an encore of “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie”

- I’m only able to say this sentence in your language. Can we switch to English now?

- Is there anywhere I can get a coffee not called Starbucks?

- Where’s the best place to shop without being ripped off for being foreign?

AT THE MARKET
- Can you direct me to the stall that sells the cheapest local memorabilia?

- Thank you but I have no need to buy a hand painted fan/monkey skull/Rambo knife

- Where’s your mask? Because at that price, you’re robbing people

TO THE TAXI DRIVER
- I’d prefer to have my luggage with me, so don’t drive off with it when we reach our destination

- Can you turn this annoying song up any louder?

- You don’t know where we’re going, do you?

- Is there currently a shortage of deodorant in the country?

Here’s another tip: Make sure you get someone you trust to translate them and don’t rely on Google translate. I did and have been angrily shouting “Foxhole!” to useless Danish drivers for the last six months.

Ever been caught out in translation?